martes, 13 de mayo de 2008

The Office.

En el jale una de las desgracias de la empresa es la falta de una auditoria externa, aparte de una interna.

En el Departamento de Trafico trabajan;

El Chis Chas. Es un guey que es Gerente de Operaciones y se viste como tal. Siempre llega con botas fajado, cinto piteado y sombrero. La mayor parte del tiempo se la pasa en la calle según el trabajando, dice que tiene muchos contactos en refacciones pero siempre me los quito de encima tachándolos y comprobando que son puro pedo. El guey me respeta un chingo debido a que es de la misma camada del Hobbit.

El Manitas. El apodo es debido a que su mano derecha es mas pequeña que la izquierda. Casi no saluda debido a que le da pena no tanto por su tamaño que no es muy perceptible, pero lo que si es, es cuando lo saludas que sientes que estas saludando una mano sin huesos.

Harry Potter. Es Supervisor y debido a que hace bien su trabajo lo relegaron al Rastro en medio del monte para que no perjudique la operación o el puesto de sus superiores.

Peña. También supervisor muy bueno en su trabajo es relegado al turno de noche para que no complique la operación de sus superiores.

El Cigüeñal. Es un guey en el área de Rastreo y le dicen así debido a que camina como que chueco. Yo le achaco eso debido a que tiene una moto y camina como que cayéndose a su derecha, aludiendo a que quizás siempre esta escamado de los carros que vienen de frente. Pero la rasa le dice cigüeñal por lo chueco de este.

El Pelon. Es un guey también de rastreo que es raza pero no se cotorrea del todo.

El güero. Es un guey que nadie tolera debido a que es muy prepotente. Se ha hecho de enemigos hasta a los operadores pro su prepotencia. También esta en rastreo.

La Mega Big de 3.3. Ella se encarga de las guias. Si son 20 viajes diarios ella llena 20 formas al día. Lo que equivale a unos 45 minutos al día lo que trabaja.

Eso es en el área de tráfico. En l área de liquidaciones se encuentra;

El Koopa. El es el jefe de liquidaciones, se le dice así ya que nunca sale de su oficina y solo se le ve cuando se acaba el turno del día. El apodo es por que en el Mario Bros. 1, al koopa solo se le ve al final, además de que se le parece.

El Neonazi. Es un guey que en primer día de jale llego con una camisa con una zwastica. Tiene de amante a la mega big de 2.8.

El puñetas de liquidaciones. Es un guey que por lo general esta en el turno de noche y casi no se le ve, no se le pone en el día ya que siempre le falta lana.

El angustias. El apodo viene de su anterior jale. Desconozco su origen pero tiene cara de lo mismo.

En el área de Caja General esta la Bati Ruca. Es una Ñora que no tiene necesidad de trabajar. Tiene mas de 50 años y su viejo gana una lana. Sus hijos ya tienen su vida hecha y es prima del socio mayorista del Grupo.

En la Gerencia esta el Dr. Simi. El es el Gerente, se parece de a madre al personaje.

También en Gerencia como asistente del mismo esta el Kenita. El kenita es el apodo que se le dio al guey debido a que esta nalgon y a mi anterior jefe inmediato le decíamos el Kena, por Que Nalgon.

En el área de Contabilidad;

El jotito. También conocido como Vicentito esta el Contador, el cual tiene muchas tendencias Gay.

La Mole. Se dice que esta matando a Vicentito. Es un guey que es el “segundo” del departamento y por lo general se queda dormido en su escritorio. Ha habido ocasiones que cuando un compañero como el Gilbertillo que le esta dictando unos números se queda dormido al momento. En una ocasión se le vio en el Arcoíris. Se le dice la Mole ya que esta demasiado cacarizo.

Chávelo. Su trabajo son las cuentas por pagar, como no le pagamos a los proveedores pues su trabajo no sirve del todo. Su apodo es debido a que su parecido a Chabelo es impresionante.

La Mega big de 2.8. Tiene como función hacer las facturas de los viajes. Si hay 20 viajes al día ella hace 20 facturas, un jale de 20 minutos.

La Aseadora. La aseadora es una vieja que cuando llego por primera vez el vigilante me dijo que ya había llegado la aseadora, para que la pusiera a asear las oficinas, eran los primeros días de la empresa y en ese tiempo todos se dirigían conmigo para que les arreglara sus problemas. Resulto que la vieja estaba demasiado desarreglada que parecía aseadora, y asi se le quedo el apodo por siempre. Hoy su trabajo es archivar lo que los otros “generan” lo cual no es mucho. Me la curo de ella cada vez que se me acaba algo de papelería y le pido algo prestado. Cuando llego la vieja se mueve de a madre emocionándose ya que le llego jale, como no hace nada en todo el día pone mucho esmero en llevar a cabo el control de la papelería como si manejara grandes cantidades.

Gilbertillo. No tiene apodo pero algunos le decimos Gilberto el Grillito, ya que tiene cara de grillo. Como lo mención anteriormente el guey pidió el jale de vigilante pero se la dieron de auxiliar de contabilidad.

Frida. Es la asistente del jotito. Se le dice así ya que se parece mucho a Frida Khalo. Sobre todo por su bigotazo.

En Recursos Humanos esta el licenciado. Me refiero siempre a el como el Puñetas de Recursos Humanos. Trabaja 2 horas a la semana según mis cálculos. Al chisme le dedica 1 día y el resto de la semana a la barra extrema. Haga frio o calor es de a huevo que se prepara por la mañana su puto café. Recuerdo cuando entro y me vio mi cafetera, se le nublaron los ojos, me dijo. “Quien te la autorizo?” El puñetas todavía no se la cree que soy el guey que se dedica a las compras.

En la empresa sobran de empleados alrededor de 12 personas. Las historias generadas diariamente por las mismas opacarían el rumbo de este blog, asi que solo escribiré en el futuro un poco de estos personajes. Digo personajes debido a que son eso, personajes.

Hoy por la mañana al guey que tengo sustituyendo al Puñetin, el Jotito le dijo que tenia un faltante de 20 mil litros de Diesel, En esa misma llamada le dijo… “A no son 10 mil, no perdón son 2 mil, a no 200, no mejor así déjalo no hay problema”.

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